How I Chose to Change My Life

Kim Brio
3 min readAug 29, 2022

This is not a how to article.

The purpose of this piece is to share my personal experience and reflection in an effort for you, whoever and wherever you are to reflect on yourself and your experiences and in turn, live your best life possible. I know I may not know you, but I care.

I recently had somewhat of a spiritual awakening. It was like a spiritual jolt that resulted in an abundance of lessons, reflections, and a new level of open mindedness (Is that even a word? It’s OK, you get it,) and understanding.

I’ll be honest, ya’ll. This thing stemmed mainly from heartbreak. My heartbreak was gradual and deep. Like so many of us, it hurt more because it took me so long to accept what was actually happening. I couldn’t (and didn’t want to,) accept the reality of what I was experiencing, so I tried to force down the feelings. It totally ended when I couldn’t take it anymore and started to express my feelings. In short, I wasn’t allowed to.

So, I decided to walk away. In doing so, I sparked a spiritual journey that led to me finally, fully loving myself. When I walked away, I chose me.

Post awakening, I literally move and think different, and my life is more peaceful and purposeful.

So, how’d I do it? It’s actually simple in strategy, but difficult in action. I faced my shit. I got real with myself about myself. For me, that looked like:

  • The reality of my life experiences and how they show up in my everyday thoughts and actions.
  • The ultimate understanding that the only thing I can control, and therefore should truly be concerned about, is me.
  • The facing of my toxic shit, and realizing that before I even do it to others, I’ve already done it to myself.
  • Slowing down, digging in, and getting real about the PATTERNS that show up in my life. The types of people, the habits in how I respond in situations, the lessons that I keep experiencing because I’m NOT learning the lesson (that’s a BIG one!) and even my unhealthy coping mechanisms that STOPPED me from doing the mental work.

Once I did this, identified what all this looked like for me and how it had affected and shaped who and where I am, it was easy for me to determine the things that needed to change. And then the biggest part…. I actually changed them.

When I actually committed to doing the work and growing, I could recognize those lessons when they showed up, and I could move differently than I had before.

When these lessons came and I moved different (and baby let’s be clear a lot of these lessons and reflections were PAINFUL to go through,) my literal life, mindset, and approach to everyday life itself changed.

The things that used to bother me, don’t bother me any more. The unhealthy habits that I had in my life as coping mechanisms, just aren’t attractive to me anymore. The way that I feel about myself, holds no doubt or negativity. I love myself, even with knowing I will ALWAYS have more room to grow.

It’s a beautiful place to live in, and it literally feels like I’m living in a different reality than I was before. There were many, many things that I had to do to do MY work. Once I know what I know and see what I see, I can’t UNknow or UNsee it… And that’s how I know that I’m here to stay.

I want the same thing for you. I want you happy and at peace, handling life’s situations as they come with dignity, grace, and consciousness. I’m blessed to have two very close friends (@SloowMoee on TikTok & Dr. Shirlyn Garrett,) that I speak to on a daily basis that help me process this journey, and one even happens to be a therapist.

If you’re ready to do the work, I highly suggest you start the journey by doing the mental work by seeking therapy. You just can’t do it alone, it’s truly not a one man job. Get started by visiting my good friend, Dr. Shirlyn Garrett on her website at www.drshirlynspeaks.com or find a counselor near you on PsychologyToday.com.

I hope to see you on this side of your self work journey real soon!

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